Wow! It's been soo long since I posted. Sorry to leave you guys hanging...i'm sure you've been lost without me..lol.  Well...drum roll please... for those of you who don't know this..I'M BACK!!!! WOOOO HOOO *doin the happy dance*  Yeah! So, anywho I've changed my major to Criminal Justice..I love my classes so far with the exception of  Computer Science  **WHAT THE CRAP IS THAT CLASS FOR ANYWAY!? MORONS!?** " click the 'x' in the top right corner of the screen...blah blah blah"   Ya'll pray for me, I'm seriously struggling with the temptation to skip that class..and losing the battle.

     It's so great to be back & fellowship with you guys again. God has seriously been testing and blessing me these last 2 months. I've had a lot of stressful situations come up recently with school, finances, relationships w/parents and friends. I told a friend of mine the other day in one of my weaker moments "I know God loves me, but right now I feel like His lab rat...testing and testing and testing."  I'm beginning (slowly...verrrry slowly) to understand that I can't take on the world by myself. There seems to be a pattern developing in my life...I take on so much stress until I finally reach my breaking point and ask God to help me bear the load..and it's like He was there all along, just waiting on me to speak up. One of my goals in my walk is to  break that pattern. What I mean is that I don't want to have to reach my breaking point before I'm able to put my life in God's capable hands. I think alot of it has to do with pride. I'm to proud to admit that I can't do it ALL all by myself. Now, saying/admitting that and changing it are 2 different things. But for now atleast I've identified the problem so that I can begin to work on it.

     One of my biggest stressors has been my financial situation, 90% of it brought on by myself. Like my expensive speeding habit. Yeah, 1 week before comming to school, right after quiting my job, I got a speeding ticket for doing 69mph in a 50 mph zone...SMART HUH!? Still, had to count my blessings when the cop informed me that had I been going 1 mph faster he would've suspended my license and I'd've been a jail bird. Then there've been numerous bills...yada yada yada..who doesn't have bills right!?

     Well, anyway I was wiggin' myself out about finding a job, finally the other night at Portico, I gave all of my worries up to God. Took the leap and put my life in His hands. Who better to help you carry the weight of the world than the one who made it right!? Well, good news...I kid you not, the first & only job I had the chance to apply for, called me up the NEXT day. I went for the interview and was hired on the spot. So, congratulate me, I'm now an employee @ The Oaks Nursing Center in Monroe. I start training today! WOOHOOO!!!

      Oky doky everyone, THATS ALL FOR NOW! Have a great day, an excellent weekend, and a safe mardi gras holidays!

GOD BLESS, ALL MY LOVE,

                                         hanna

It's been a rough couple of days....I'm seriously suffering from the blues...and it stinks. After fighting with it for 3 days I finally completed my FAFSA crud. That's one thing checked off of my list. I sat here for close to an hour pouring my heart out yesterday...and then my brother called, kicked me off and everything I had written was lost...major bummer. I've been on my knees prayin to go back to school. The money situation is pretty desperate at the moment...with no light at the end of the tunnel. I don't know what I'm going to do if I cant return to school. I'm a people person stuck in  an isolated environment. ITS SOOO NOT HAPPENIN' !! Its so lonely here. I can't keep living like this. It's so spiritually dead. I'm experiencing soooo much in my walk right now and there's no one to share it with, have discussions, as questions. Nobody to guide me. Nobody here gets it.  To go with that, I got some bizarre news yesterday. One of my best friends in high school called to tell me she is now a stripper....coulda knocked me over w/a feather after that. I was at a total loss for words...that's RARE as most of you know. The saddest part, is she was boasting about it. She's proud of it. She has no problem w/ using her body to make money. I didn't know what to say to her, the conversation ended w/big gaps in convo and a quick goodbye. What do I do? Do I try to talk to her about it? Or do I butt out? I care about her. How do I handle this?

On top of it all ...(You probably wont get this, but I do and that's all that counts..) I've lost my *whoa*....it's always been *hmm*, & then I found my *whoa*, and now its gone.   It really sucks to be me this week.

I hope everyone is having a much better beginning to their week than I. I'm sure everything will be "peaches and cream" by friday, but for now...I'm struggling.

God bless.

Hanna

Man o man, God is seriously making His presence known...it's like He's waited for so long for me to listen, and now that I finally am...LOOK OUT! THA MAN is ready to rock and roll, and He's doin a lot of the rockin' in my life. "Rockin' the boat" that is. I've been thrown so far out of my comfort zone this week I almost didn't know what to do with myself, and then I just let God take over. It's been nothing but a series of tests here recently. Little things, but they all add up. He's got my attention and He's not letting go.

Whew. THis week's been crazy. I have been such a clutz, this week... I got locked out of my delivery van, I tripped and fell down the cement steps at work,  (it got so bad I called 'manda on Wed. and told her to pray I made it through the day, I needed a little heavenly intervention.) Then,  My boss screamed for me at work so I went running up these 2 little steps we have and as I rounded the corner My leg slipped out from under me, I dropped to one knee, knocked the coffee pot off the burner w/my arm and threw coffee alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll over the place, I mean I couldn't have made a bigger mess if i had actually picked up the pot and deliberatly threw the coffee!  Then my arm landed on the 'now vacant' burner... BUT I wasn't burned!? Thank You GOD YOU ARE AWESOME FOR THAT!....wheew you talk about a close call!  Of course the boss lady flipped out, but all was cool, and I limped around for the rest of the day like a retard. lol.  I  seriously think I got caught it EVERY rain storm that hit the area, no kidding! It'd be misting a little, and I'd pull up where I was making a delivery, put the van in park, open my door  AnD WHOOOOOOOSH It poors. I looked like a drowned rat. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, griping, or even whining.... It's just amazing to me that where I would've normally cursed my bad luck, I made it through the whole day w/a smile on my face, a limp in my walk and the knowledge that God loved me and this was His idea of a joke. lol.

I HOPE EVERYONE HAS A GREAT HOLIDAYS! STAY SAFE, GIVE THANKS TO GOD FOR ALL YOU HAVE & EVEN WHAT YOU DONT HAVE!  LOVE Y'ALL!

Hanna

 Ok,so I felt God tug on my heart this morning and I got to thinking (yeah I know, it scares me too..lol) that I need to take a step back and count the blessings that He's given to me and give Him thanks and praise in return. I thought I should share some of mine. Let me know some of  the things/blessinsgs you're thankful for!

Daddy God, Thank you so much for:

*Stumbling blocks in the road of life, after tripping over them and falling on your face as many times as I have...any way, they keep me humble.

*My little sister, who despite her disabilities continues to teach ME things about myself and life on a daily basis. She's a constant source of joy in my life.

*Breaking me again and again until I'm broken so completly that I turn to YOU knowing you are the only one who can make me whole again.

*Friends that take your side in an argument, no questions asked....AND for the friends who have absolutly no problem telling me when I'm wrong, or stupid.

* Scary movies w/psycho chicks like "SwimFan"...(you know who you are...still can't believe you said that....lol) 

*Family that loves me.

* For special people in my life, ya'll mean the world to me and I love you sooo much, I hope the blessings are unending in your lives.

*My health

* for 2nd, 3rd, 4th & even 5th chances to start again.

*Thank you for putting me in a place so spiritually dry & dead  that I thirst for your knowledge and wisdom; and I hunger for your presence in my life.

*** Most of all, daddy, thank you for the Man who stood in my place, took the nails in His hands & feet instead of mine, and bled for me on calvary. Thank you for your son most of all.***

Oh! And thanks for spare keys!  O my gosh! Y'all I got locked out of the van when I was on delivery today...sheesh talk about stupid! Wow, I never cease to amaze myself. Last week, I fell into a cabinet door and put a big gash in my forehead. I've managed to slip and fall not once but TWICE in the lobby of Rapides Regional Hospital...and yes I also managed to dump water and flowers on myself in the process.  I can't wait to go back to school...I wasn't meant to be a flower delivery driver person. *sigh*... WEll i've gotta run, so drop me a note n say hi!

Ok so i can't be totally pessimistic.... I really am excited about comming back to good old "funroe" in the spring. I miss all of you guys up there, some more than most.. . j/k lol  It's been great getting to see some of you this past weekend. Some of you i wish i would've stayed away from...might have saved myself some heart ache...ha ha...but then i'm a silly little fool who keeps falling for the same old trick.. . or should i say guy. Any way, I changed my major to criminal justice, I'm STOKED! Omy gosh, i've got a retired ATF agent as my adviser.....i'm tickled pink cant ya tell!? lol...i cant wait to pick his brain n i have billions of questions to ask him.  Well, as is obvious by my previous post not everything this past weekend was peaches n cream. I'm struggling with some different issuses at the moment, so just keep me in your prayers, i'm sure i'll get through it. 

" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Phil 4:13 ...right? RIGHT!

Smooches and oodles of hugs!